In their sixties and seventies, my mother and aunt loved supporting the arts. They attended local community theater plays and traveling off-off-Broadway shows. They visited every museum in the tri-state area. And they were usually very complementary to local artists.
So when the local paper announced that they were erecting a new statue in the park, they made plans to attend the unveiling. Aunt Barbara was an award-winning amateur photographer, so she came prepared to get some up-close shots as soon as they were allowed inside the roped-off area.
Attendance was low, but everyone smiled as the ceremony began. Local muckety-mucks introduced the artist, specially commissioned to do this statue from several applicants. Then the artist himself was asked to speak. He said it was a tribute to Native Americans, though not necessarily to the local tribes, and from there he spoke in length about interpretive modern art.
At last, the restless crowd was treated to the grand unveiling. The canvas hiding the long-awaited sculpture was lifted and …
No one made a sound. Mom and Aunt Barb very carefully avoided making eye contact with each other.
Less than ten minutes later, the ceremony wrapped up. A handful of people stepped up to speak to the artist, but our two ladies turned in unspoken agreement and quietly made their way back to their car.
They passed the photographer from the newspaper who was struggling to find a suitable way to capture it. He kept backing further and further away, letting a crop of trees obscure part of his view.
The ladies waited until they were safely alone in their car before they dared speak their minds.
“Now, Pat, I’m going to ask you something,” Aunt Barb said hesitantly. “Do you think that it –”
“Looks like a giant penis? Yep!”
Aunt Barb clapped a hand over her mouth, even though it had been Pat who’d said the p-word.
“Do you think everyone else saw that, too?”
“Don’t see how they could have missed it, Barb! It’s a nine foot penis statue right in the middle of the dang park!”
“Well, I’ll be!”
Barb was silent a moment, considering this.
“Well, the paper did say they were erecting a monument today.”
I thought they were exaggerating until I saw the statue myself.
They weren’t wrong.
Kimberly Van Ginkel 
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